Dealing With Waiting

As we wind down our time here I am reminded of the intro we put into this blog. We anticipated correctly and we have learned about ourselves, the people of New Zealand, and our God. It has been fabulous. Each of those could and may at sometime become a blog entry. For now as we plan to return to Knoxville in May I am faced with a season of waiting which is the topic of this blog. I am waiting to say painful "Goodbyes" here and waiting for sweet reunion with you guys back home. However, I originaly entitled this blog entry "Dealing with Disappointment" because the waiting has resulted in anxiety and disappointment from the details of life in Knoxville not exactly falling quickly into a place we like. Let's keep it in perspective I am fortunate to not have to worry about the next meal like many we know who struggle from pay check to pay check. My health is good unlike various family members and the patients we see. My children are well unlike my friends who have lost children (I found out this past week through a facebook reunion that an old college roomate painfully lost a newborn much like I've seen 4 of my other friends experience). Never the less there are still taxes to figure out, busy Knoxville call schedules to work, 2 empty houses to pay mortgages on, a downward sliding weak New Zealand dollar to match the downward turn in savings, 401K, 1029,etc. The biggest pieces of the puzzle of uncertainty are the Knoxville pathology job and my Dad's health. I wonder if anyone can relate to uncertainty? The present circumstances can hold challenges and the future can be uncertain in many aspects. However, walking through these anxious weeks has brought an opportunity for me to seek God for His will and for His security. My prayers have shifted from the obligation or the light affair to a deep appeal that comes from the soul. The Word always speaks to me if I will read it and indeed these weeks I have heard many accounts from the Bible where people have had to bolster their faith and wait on the Lord (like Daniel after refusing Neb's food then trusting God to make him strong and like the syrophenecian woman who asked Jesus to heal her daughter trusting through silence and Jesus' questioning). My sister sent me a beautiful verse about being "joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer". I have sought God through some very honest prayers and my joy and hope are returning. The circumstances have not changed and the uncertainty remains reguarding work and my Dad but my heart is a little more resolved to believe God will work it all out and we will cope with whatever hardships come. It may not be easy but God promises He is a "very help and presence in times of trouble." We saw God come through in so many ways in coming to New Zealand and here we are having to believe him for the return as well.