Going Deeper-Remembering the Dream

Ok for you bloggers consider this fair warning. The entries titled "Going Deeper" may be sappy, soulful, and spiritual with reflection and intraspection. You may want to quickly scroll down to the pics and read no further!

The past week has been a bit of a challenge. Well in reality the past 2 months have been a lot of a challenge. We tried to come up with an acronym today for the instances (frequent as they are) where we encounter things just not working out as expected, as planned, as wanted. You know the times requiring trouble shooting, patience, and extra effort. We started with PITA but decided pain in the backside maybe wasn't clean enough. We are thinking of using....oh I forgot but it had something to do with GO and growth opportunity. I am saying that with my "whatever" voice.
I think this week I just reached a low with all the "growth opportunities". Many of you know that I am not the most emotional female on the planet but there were some blue moments this week and yes tears too! I miss everyone and the things about my corner of Tennessee where there weren't so many "growth opportunites". I get frustrated as some things aren't easy here and not everything in New Zealand is working out as expected, as planned, as wanted. Many times here we have had to rework, try again, fix, wait, accept less, move on, etc and it is so exhausting and frustrating to us because we are use to running fast, effective, and efficient and pretty much "gettin her done". To add to the the cog in the wheel, I miss my family and tennis and church and even looking at slides under the microscope. Making a transcontinental move requires adjusting and I am about adjusted to contorsion. To make it more of a "growth opportunity" not everyone we know is loving THEIR "growth opportunity" as our move has disrupted their lives and brought sadness and heartache. For you guys we are very sorry to bring this on you and it pains us daily (more tears, more blue feelings).
We have made an effort to put the highlights on the blog (the above was not one of them!) and the highlight has been how God is working in the midst of it all. (If you have gotten this far for heaven's sake don't scroll down to the pics now!) I am reminded how one of my church friends said we should write down what all God did to get us here. Of course I meant to do that! In a way God reminded me tonight. We were playing Cluedo (the local name for Clue board game) and I noticed that I was bearing down on a book randomly grabbed from the shelf. We brought a few books with us and this was one that somebody had given Lynn (Thanks Robert). The book is reminding me that God made Lynn and I to enjoy foreign lands (all be it that they are contorting and frustrating) and he had planted this love as far back as our teen age years. We love to explore and it brings great joy and life to us deep in our soul as we experience people (Lynn and Phillip fished with a woman from Russia before dinner and Cluedo. How this woman made it to Whangarei I don't know. I am sure she was wondering the same thing about us!)Anyway, We are at our best when we feel like we have a purpose and there is so much of a need for respiratory medicine here and people have such misconceptions about Christianity (you may not know that it is a loving and dynamic relationship with a real and personal God who forgives and cares and just wants you to do the same). We had to sacrifice to come here with the hope it would be worth it. The dream started in a corner of our heart and just grew and grew into a thrilling beating in our chest that couldn't be ignored. Many of you understand but some can't understand. It's our unique dream and even though it was hard to leave the comfort zone it would have been harder to let that dream whither. God in his unique way has reminded me deep in my spirit that he is the dream giver. His plan is an exciting ride (to quote Cory-'life giving"). He is with me and will help me. I feel ordinary, afraid, and doubtful but he is extraordinary, faithful, and encouraging. Some how in a truely amazing way I see how God uses difficulties (book calls it wasteland times of our lives) to bring out the doubt and fear in our hearts and replace it with a new faith in him, new hope in him, new strength in reliance on him. I feel a deeper resolve coming as we get beat up a little in the circumstances. It's crazy but you realize you are weak, really weak and some how you sense He is strong in a new way. Have you ever felt that way? I recommend the "I'm falling here. Can you lend some help?" type prayer. Contorted but feeling better, Dawn